All of us have been wronged at some point in our lives. All of us have felt that we have been treated unfairly by someone or been hurt because of their words and actions. A part of us gets attached to that hurt and the last thing we want to do at times is forgive….
But, is it really good for you?
The thing is when we hold a grudge, the only one we are hurting is ourselves. Each time we recall it, it brings back all of the hurt and memories associated with that hurt and we feel the same anger again.
These negative emotions impact our thoughts and colour the experiences we have in a negative light as well. This leads to a loss of control and stress that we don’t understand how to deal with.
For some, it is very easy to hold a grudge but very difficult to let it go. Some people can hold on to them for years even if the person they are angry with has moved on. Forgiveness is not in their vocabulary because it does not feel natural to them. Most people who hold grudges think they will let the ‘bad guy’ get away if they forgive and forget what they did.
However, forgiveness is by far the healthiest solution as grudges can seriously impact our health. Even though grudges might seem painful, those who hold them think they can be justified. That’s because these come with an identity.
We hold grudges because we think we know who we are and a grudge turns us into a person who has been treated unfairly. We victimize ourselves by focusing on a grievance that has purpose and gives us strength.
In order to let go of grudges, we have to be willing to abandon that identity and admit that perhaps we don’t know ourselves as well as we think we do. We need to drop the assumption that we have been mistreated and allow the lessons we learn from those experiences to shape our perspective.
In fact, if you hold grudges, you have to be willing to forgive not only the offending party, but also yourself for allowing them to hurt you. Failure to do so can lead to bitterness, anger, depression, anxiety and fear of change which can lead to strained relations. These strained relations often not only affect the grudge holder and the begrudged, but can also often affect many others outside this relationship such as extended family members for example.
How Hypnotherapy works to alleviate grudges
Grudges are often linked to childhood trauma and memories that are inaccessible on a conscious level. These can trigger resentment and bitterness which colour perspective in a negative light often only leading to more unhealthy resentment and thus grudges in certain situations. Hypnotherapy taps into those memories and the experiences that caused them and works to solve them on both a conscious and unconscious level.
By helping you overcome your victim mentality, your hypnotherapist can help you move on and forgive not only your aggressors but also yourself. As grudge holding, resentment and the emotions associated with resentment can be so deeply engrained in the unconscious mind and present in behaviours and beliefs, GC Hypnotherapy may also use some additional techniques such as Matrix Therapies and Time Line Therapy® to free you of resentment, negative life influences and grudges, both past and present, in order to improve your relationships in all areas of your life.
Once grudges are released and become a thing of the past, clients notice significant improvements in their general health, wellbeing, happiness, ability to control general emotional responses and energy levels.